Boston Logan &#%@*(@

April 21, 2010

This commentary was originally posted March 18th 2000, during my time in ECW.

Sometimes I feel like a complete idiot. Perhaps thatís a bit strong; maybe Iím just too much of a team player for my own good. Paul offered me this weekend off, to spend time with my family. Paul is a very considerate boss when it comes to things like this, and that is one of the reasons why ECW is a great place to work. I for some reason either company loyalty or extreme stupidity decided it was a bad time to take time off and came to work anyway. With the amount of guys on the shelf due to injury I felt the shows would be a bit thin if I stayed home. What I failed to consider, which is now making me second-guess my decision, is that we are in the Boston area this weekend.

Now before everyone from Boston jumps down my throat, Iím quite sure itís a great city if you have the time to site see and experience all the city has to offer, but if you are just using it as a travel hub itís a disaster. Bostonís Logan International Airport is without a doubt the worst airport on the planet, and believe me Iíve seen a lot of airports. I first came through Logan about 2 1/2 years ago, it was under construction then and it is still under construction now. The inside is under construction as is the outside and all surrounding areas. They never seem to finish any one project; they just keep starting new ones. When the acronyms S.N.A.F.U. and F.U.B.A.R. were invented I think they were thinking of the airport in Boston. When trying to leave Logan you find yourself driving in what seems to be an endless corridor of concentric circles. You feel lost in a labyrinth waiting for a huge Minotaur to step out and kill you. After about your 4th lap around the airport looking for the exit, you begin to hope that, that Minotaur does step out to put you out of your misery. Boston must have some great pubs that serve a lot of beer, because all the engineers and architects in the city appear to be drunk. If the airport wasnít enough, once you find the exit you then have to deal with Sumner Tunnel. This is the tunnel you have to go through to reach I 93. For the price of a mere $3.00 you get the pleasure of merging down to 2 lanes from the 8 lanes of toll booths over a distance of approximately 50-75 yards. The bottleneck effect is incredible! It took me 35 minutes to get from the National Car Rental lot to I 93, a distance of 4 miles. As bad as that seems, Iíve had it take a lot longer; traffic was moving quite well that day.

Once you reach I 93 youíre not out of the woods yet. Traffic in Boston is unbelievable, as is the amount of inconsiderate drivers. Boston can give the New York, New Jersey area a run for their money. No Calgary western hospitality here! As I proceed down I 93 at a whooping 25 miles an hour I start looking for a place to eat, which is very frustrating. Boston is the home of Dunkin Doughnuts; you canít swing a dead cat without hitting a doughnut shop. (Iím not sure why people always want to swing dead cats, but thatís the expression) Needless to say I donít eat in doughnut shops, so Iím not all that happy with my dining options.

If the food, traffic, and airport werenít enough, the first shot this weekend was in Worcester, Ma. Iíve got nothing against the city but the building we run there, the Palladium, is the worst that we run. We always draw a nice house, and the crowd is great, but I canít help but think the Palladium wouldnít serve the city better as a parking lot for the Centrum. The Palladium is a theater type setup with all the seats to one side and the locker rooms remind me of some of the buildings I saw in Beirut.

Well I survived the night at the Palladium, and as I sit here typing this Saturday afternoon, I look forward to the unenviable task of heading back to Logan International to pick up my good buddy Cyrus. If getting to spend the day with Cyrus wasnít a big enough pain in the @$$ I get to make an extra trip to the airport to get him. I really hope the TV taping in Salem goes well, so that I can at least feel that all my frustration this weekend wasnít for not. I guess whatís made this weekend seem worse than it is, is that with Jerry out hurt, and Justin close enough to home to drive home each night, Iím traveling by myself, so Iíve got no one to vent my frustrations on. Jerry usually takes the brunt of my venting, and believe me when he finally gets back on the road Iíll have a whole back log of venting built up for him. So Jerry if youíre reading this, be prepared for a plethora of old guy jokes when you get back.

Iíve got to go; Cyrus and Logan International await. If you donít hear from me again the Minotaur must have gotten me.

Till next week,
Lance Storm

Yet another ďpost scriptĒ this week; I survived the Minotaur. After a nightmarish 10 laps of Logan waiting for Cyrus, when I did finally pick him up, I got to listen to him complain that the piece of chocolate cake he received in first class on Northwest wasnít as big as it was last week. Donít anyone ever accuse Cyrus (Don Callis) of not paying dues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!