Funny Stories, Serious Men

August 29, 2013

A few quick stories about people from my career, and again this time with the united theme of serious men having a good laugh, be it in the ring or back stage. I can't be serious every minute.

Scott Steiner: When I first got to WCW I said hi to Scotty a couple times but we didn't interact much, but I was fully aware of his rep as a guy you didn't want to mess with. I know for a fact most of the office was scared to death of him at the time, a fear I think he encouraged. When I finally got the opportunity to do a couple back stage segments with him I discovered he was actually a pretty cool guy and this short story I'm about to share was my first glimpse into the funnier side of Scott Steiner. If you remember at the time Scotty was running around WCW with a lead pipe scaring the hell out of everybody and was a real serious bad ass. I was also playing the serious straight shooter that never smiled or laughed on camera. In this particular back stage segment I was getting ready to shoot a live walk to the ring from back stage. Nitro was in commercial break so I'm standing on my mark getting ready for them to count me down, to do my serious walk to the ring. The crew were all standing by getting ready to go. I hear them say 20 seconds and see them getting the cameras up and ready to shoot.

As they are doing this Scotty is walking up and completely out of character hopes between me and the cameras (we have maybe 10 seconds till we go live) and starts doing a cheer like a high school cheerleader, He's cheering "Go Lance...Go Lance..." while bouncing from foot to foot, waving invisible pompoms in the air. I start laughing at the sight of the scariest guy in the locker room doing this absurd cheer. I then hear the production guy say we are live in 4...3...2 as the countdown hits 2, Scotty stops his cheer, and just steps out of frame, with a big shit eating grin on his face, while I have 1 second to compose myself to do my serious walk to the ring live. I managed to stop laughing and form a somewhat serious expression on my face, so he didn't completely bust me, but it was all I could do to not burst out laughing during my ring walk and the crowd at home would have had no idea why I was laughing. A great rib, and we've been friends ever since.

Taz: Taz is another guy with a serious rep. At least ECW Taz did; TNA Taz is a completely different story. Back in ECW, Taz lived the FTW gimmick 24/7 and made my in ring character look like a fun loving jokester. Much like Scott Steiner did to me in WCW, I managed to make Taz laugh in ECW and I even made him do it in the ring. I'm not sure when or where the show was but it was a live event in ECW when I was nursing an injured shoulder and just cutting a promo and not working. I was originally booked to face Taz that night so I went to the ring and cut a promo coming up with some excuse on why I wouldn't wrestle Taz and that Mikey Whipwreck would be facing Taz in my place. Before we get to the spot you need a little back ground. As you all should know one of Taz's big moves was the T-Bone suplex, which he would usually hit after ducking his opponents clothesline. When I first worked Taz he told me when we do the spot he needed me to throw a left handed clothesline because he hooks the suplex from that size, and that if I threw the right one he'd be screwed. I said I always threw my clotheslines with my left, to which he responded, "Perfect".

So back to the match; I stayed at ring side for the match cornering Mikey and as the match is going on I notice that they are setting up for the T-Bone suplex, so just as Mikey turns to get set to throw his Clothesline I scream out from ringside, "Mikey...Don't Throw the Left!" While this was not my intent (I was just being an idiot) Taz found this quite funny and actually broke character and I heard a very loud throaty chuckle from the FTW Champ "HA...HA" before he T-Boned poor Mikey out of his boots. Taz called me on it back stage, but in a good natured way. While Taz played up his most miserable man on the planet rep in ECW, we'd always gotten along.

HHH: This last story is not about breaking character, in fact it's about everyone absolutely being in character, but it's a fun story and is a great case of impeccable comedic timing. This story was obviously during my WWE, and you need a bit of background information. For starters HHH and I are very similar people when it comes to life style and conduct on the road. Neither of us are partiers, drinkers, etc. and we both take our job quite seriously. This was also during the time when Scott Steiner started travelling on his own bus. I don't mean he was travelling on the Grey Hound; he had a luxury RV with a driver and went from town to town in his own bus. A lot of us were curious about the cost of a bus because on some loops it seemed like it would be a great way to travel. So one week in the locker room we were looking at our upcoming road schedule and noticed one of our pending loops had a bunch of long drives on it. 200+ mile drives between towns can be a real pain in the ass, so we started discussing the possibility of going together and getting a big RV between a bunch of us for the drive.

In the locker room was Jericho, Christian, Bubba, possibly Dreamer and myself. We start talking about how much easier it would be to travel on a bus, and Bubba starts saying how it could be a great party weekend. He then decides to (in a bit of a joking manner) start delegating assignments for all of us who are going to go in on the bus to make it the perfect party weekend. He commented that Jericho could be in charge of the music, Christian could be in charge of getting the booze, either him or Dreamer could be in charge of getting the girls, and then he got to me. He's looking at me and saying "Lance you can be in Charge of...ahhh... in charge of..." and at that exact moment HHH walks into the locker room, I think just heading to the bathroom, and without breaking stride or skipping a beat said..."Lance can just be In Charge", and kept walking into the bathroom. Everyone popped, and Bubba followed up with..."Exactly! Lance will be in charge, that way we'll still make the towns." Everyone had a good laugh, at not only Hunter's line but his impeccable timing and delivery. Of course when the time came no one actually looked into getting the bus and we did that loop like we did every other loop in rental cars and hotels, but we had a great afternoon day dreaming about our party weekend on the Bus.

Lance Storm


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