Impact: Getting There

November 7, 2008

This isn’t going to be my usual TNA rant. On the whole I find this show way less frustrating, now that they are limiting the comedy and trying to have a serious show. I found the comedic idiocy of the Kung Fu Naki Dance segment and the Mask Magician stuff in WWE way more annoying this week than anything TNA put on Impact.

That being said there were a few things on this show that I found absurdly stupid, that amused me greatly that I think are worth pointing out. This is meant to be more of a light hearted chuckle at TNA’s expense rather than my usually venomous rant, because I think their new direction is the right one, they just need to keep a closer eye on the details, if we are to care about any of this.

Scott Steiner’s promo was both awesome and horrible. Scotty is best when he is just left to shoot on people and say what he wants, which is what he did here. His delivery was awesome but he absolutely buried the baby face team dead with this promo. The only way this can work is if someone on the other side can fire back with an equally stiff equally great promo, unfortunately no one on the Baby Face team can. Remember the Team 3D – Steiner Brothers program? Scotty was just as stiff back then, calling Team 3D nothing but a couple of fat guys who used to wrestle in a Bingo Hall. It worked far better then because Bubba is also a great promo and fired back with an equally stiff burial, so the angle came off like 4 angry men shooting on each other. Here Steiner just owned and neutered the entire baby face team.

Speaking of Neutered Baby Faces, that brings me to Samoa Joe. I like Samoa Joe, but man they make him look like a tool. After getting owned by Scott Steiner on the mic, he states that his group has been recruiting new members and introduces Christian Cage as their newest teammate. Christian then comes out and says he’s not actually joining Joe’s side. That’s right, this baby face wants no part of these other baby faces. There are two possibilities here. Either Cage lied to Joe back stage and set him up to look like a fool in front of the crowd, or Joe is such a fool that he didn’t bother to check with Christian before introducing him. In either event Joe comes of like a complete tool because he is either too stupid to ask the guy if he’ll join them before announcing him as being part of the team, or he just had a guy lie to his face and make him look stupid in front of the world and he stood there and did nothing about it. This is the reason we never hear the, “Joe is Gonna Kill You” chants anymore.

Kevin Nash’s promo also baffled me. This whole angle baffles me. Actually that’s not true the timing of this angle baffles me. In Kevin’s promo he talked about how Samoa Joe cut a promo and buried his best friend a year ago, and then goes on to say he’s trained 8-weeks for this fight and is ready for Joe. What the hell was he doing the other 44 weeks, between when Joe pisses him off and he started training for this fight? I’m all for slow build angles but generally when guys argue back and forth and finally break up, the straw the broke the camels back wasn’t the first straw put on the pile, A YEAR AGO. Oh and here’s a crazy idea, how about REPLAYING that promo for us. The promo in question was one cut on a PPV a year ago, a PPV that was purchased by maybe 20,000 people. So even if fans memories are good enough to remember the promo, less than 1.5% of the fans watching this show even saw it. This feud is based on a year old promo that 98.5% of the fan base NEVER saw, and they have not replayed it once.

Sheik Bashier: Finally they are trying to explain this guys character. We now know for sure that he is an American, he was born in the US, he even said he loves the US; he just hates how the American people turned on him after 9/11 because he looks Middle Eastern. Fair enough, but why then does he bill himself from Tehran Iran and do all his promos and ring entrances wearing middle eastern clothing and speaking Arabic (or what ever language it is that he speak) despite doing this interview wearing regular clothes and speaking perfect English with no accent what so ever. Unless they are trying to get across that his “in-ring” character is a “fake” persona, why is that character completely different from the guy doing this interview? This makes very little sense to me.

This brings me to Rhino. I love Rhino but this promo was one of the silliest things I’ve ever seen. On the heels of the Interview where we find out that Bashier was born in the US and is in fact an American. Rhino states that he is sick and tired of people in this Country of foreign decent. Hell of a baby face promo right there, I guess unless you are a Native American, Rhino is sick of you. Unless the PPV is being held on an Indian Reservation Rhino just turned HEEL. From there he gets angry and threatens the poor interview girls, so I guess his supporters are down to just Native American Males now. If all that isn’t silly enough it gets better, much better. During Rhino’s whole, I hate Foreigners; USA…love it or leave it promo he is wearing an ITALY sweatshirt. I kid you not, our Pro-American baby face while cutting an anti-foreigner promo is wearing a sweatshirt with another Countries flag on it. His sweatshirt said Italy and had an Italian Flag on it. How does stuff like this go unnoticed and make TV?

One last question before I go. Why was ODB randomly rummaging through the garbage backstage while fellow baby face and friend Roxxi lay dead on the floor being examined by doctors? ODB did not come out at the open of the show with the Team she joined last week; she did not volunteer to tag with Taylor to fight Kong and Said, despite feuding with both recently, nor did she come out to save Taylor after Kahn turned on her. Would it not have been better to just leave her off the show completely, rather than establishing that she was there but apparently would rather rummage through the garbage than take an active role in the show? She did not stand by her team or her friend; she was too busy picking through the garbage. I’m guessing those great ODB chants are going to be a thing of the past soon too.

This show could be so much better if someone just had an eye for detail. Heels aren’t supposed to have justification for everything that they do, and it’s the Baby Faces that the crowd is supposed to want to side with and support. I bet if you polled the crowd the vast majority if asked would rather be associated with the Main Event Mafia than the still unnamed Baby Face team. Why doesn’t the Face team have a name yet? The “TNA Originals” doesn’t work; I think Sting’s first TNA appearance predates everyone on that team except AJ. They need to get a name and it needs to be cooler than “The Main Event Mafia” if these guys are going to have a chance to get over. They would also be way more effective if the group consisted of guys who have been in TNA longer, have not been jobbed recently, or been doing absurd comedy gimmicks of late. Guys like say… Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian, Robert Roode, and James Storm. That’s a TNA youth movement I could get behind. Again I want to reiterate, I think TNA is on the right road, I just think they are driving on the shoulder right now and need to get back into traffic.

Here’s hoping.
Lance Storm