TNA Questions

December 12, 2008

To avoid this turning into a long rant I am simply going to ask a few of the questions that ran threw my mind this week while I watched Impact.

- Am I the only one that noticed that TNA Impact this week had less than 18 minutes of actual wrestling on the program. Official match times totaled, I believe, 17 minutes and 55 second. ECW has had more wrestling minutes than that on their show and ECW is but half the length. If we break down the entire 120 minutes of the program we have 18 minutes of wrestling (I rounded up), 32 minutes of commercials, and 70 minutes of skits, promos, and general stupidity. Keep in mind the name of this company is Total Nonstop Action, yet only 15% of this show was action. This leaves 27% of the show for commercials, and 58% of the show skits, comedy, and talking. There was even one stretch where they went 37 minutes with out a wrestling match. Can this even be called a wrestling show anymore?

- Why would any sane person book Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley and Christy Hemme vs. Sejourner Bolt on the same show and decide to give the latter match more than twice the time as the former? We had the opportunity to see Jay Lethal and Alex Shelly wrestling in TNA (Total Nonstop Action) and they were given less than 2 minutes for their match. What a wasted opportunity to entertain fans! I guess the thought process must be that the big Sejourner Bolt heel turn will draw ratings and PPV buys. I know I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to find out where that angle goes. Are there not already more heels than faces in the Knockouts division?

- Why are backstage segments not reshot when guys screw up and call Brother Rey, “Bubba”? Bubba isn’t his name on this show nor has it even been!

- What does it mean if Samoa Joe is the last LEGIT old school bad ass? Does it mean the rest of the guys on the roster are all just a bunch of FAKE tough guys? I guess that is at least consistent with the current booking trend, as damn near everyone in the Front Line is booked like dumb pussies.

- I know it’s his gimmick but why the hell was James Storm allowed to come to the ring with a beer bottle in his hand, in a beer bottle on a pole match? Why bother climbing the F—king pole, when he is allowed to bring a beer bottle to ring side with him? Have you ever seen a weapon on a pole match where one of the guys in the match just comes out with the weapon to start the match?

- Is TNA trying to appeal to the mentally challenged by booking so many unbelievably stupid people on the program? I’m not saying this is a bad idea; it might be a good target market for them because I don’t see how or why any sane people could follow this show. The Beautiful people are so incredibly stupid that they not only think this fake Sarah Pallin is the real person (and no one in TNA has pointed out to them that she is not) but they also think she and John McCain won the election. Abyss is also now apparently retarded, not knowing the difference between cartoons and real life, and I know Curry man is “Japanese” but how does that translate into him being so stupid that he actually thinks there is a Fired Championship in TNA. Perhaps he thought Booker was inventing another pointless Title.

- Who is TNA creative has the testicular fixation? Samoa Joe lost 2 PPV main events in a row because of Ball shots. Jay Lethal lost this week due to a ball shot. Matt Morgan got laid out with a Ball shot to set up the finish on the pole match. Kong should be World Champ based solely on the fat that she isn’t susceptible to ball shots.

- WTF happened between the MEM and Mick Foley? Kurt all but threatened to kill Foley at the PPV and somehow after a 2-minute conversation they are all laughing and joking like old friends. This may have been intended to create curiosity but it just came off contradictory and unbelievable to me. This may be the fastest I’ve quit caring about a new “Superstar” addition to the company.

- Who thought having the guy from Iran wear a towel on his head would be a good idea? Are they trying to alienate every segment of the population? Foreigners are stupid, Muslims wearing towels on their heads, this is so unbelievably offensive to me and I am neither Muslim nor Foreign.

I could likely go on but I think that covers the most of it for this week. I do want to close with one WWE questions.

- Did anyone else upon first seeing the new John Cena T-shirt think the initials on the front logo were H L A? I swear I thought he was wearing a new Hot Lesbian Action shirt when I first saw it.